


Sometimes It's About What You Feel

by danrdarrenc



Series: Transferred from Fanfiction.net [28]
Category: As the World Turns
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-19
Updated: 2010-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27010450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrdarrenc/pseuds/danrdarrenc
Summary: Luke and Reid prepare for their wedding. Sequel to "For hopeless romantics and insecure crybabies" but can be read alone. Inspired by an Eric Sheffer Stevens interview.
Relationships: Reid Oliver/Luke Snyder
Series: Transferred from Fanfiction.net [28]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1959493
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Luke Snyder and Reid Oliver were in the kitchen of the apartment the doctor had once shared with Katie Snyder and her son Jacob but now lived in with Luke since Katie had married Chris Hughes. They were sitting at the table which was completely covered in papers and books. Reid was rubbing his temples in exasperation while Luke was babbling excitedly.

"I reserved the Luther's Corner's Church for the ceremony, in case it rains and we can't have it at the Snyder pond." Luke said, smiling. It had been four months since Reid had proposed to Luke and two weeks until the wedding. Reid was now seriously regretting his romantic impulse to pop the question. "Reid, are you listening to me?" Luke asked.

"Hmmm? Did you say something?" Reid asked, startled.

"Reid, come on. This wedding involves both of us. Can't you at least pretend you want to go through with this?"

"I'm sorry, Luke. But if I look at one more picture of seating charts or listen to one more god awful band, I'm going to go out of my mind."

Luke sighed deeply and said, "Fine. You know what? Never mind. I don't know why I ever thought you'd want to get married? Hmm, maybe because you asked me." Luke stood up and started to gather all the papers together.

"Hey! Luke, Luke stop! I didn't say I didn't want to marry you. You know that I do," Reid said, standing up, grabbing Luke's hands, and pulling him closer. "I just can't deal with all this pre-wedding, girlie stuff."

Luke glared at Reid, but the ends of his mouth twitched at Reid's words. "You seemed to like all this pre-wedding, girlie stuff when we trying out foods and cakes for the reception," Luke said, pouting his lips.

Unable to resist Luke's adorable face, Reid grimaced and said, "Fine. What do you want me to do?"

Luke grinned, wrapped his arms around Reid's neck, and kissed the older man. "Promise me that you won't back out on this?"

Reid slipped his arms around Luke's waist and lightly kissed him. "I promise. I love you and I do want to marry you. I meant every word that I said to you when I proposed. I don't go back on my word. You know that."

"Yeah. I know that," Luke said sheepishly. "So do you want me to just do everything and surprise you at the wedding?" Luke smiled.

"No. I'll help. For some unknown reason, I actually do want to be a part of this planning process, but just not tonight. I can't do any more of this today. I have a surgery in the morning and my head is all full of who's sitting next to who and what music is going to play while people who don't get along try not to kill each other."

"Alright. No more tonight, but we really do need to do this, Reid. The wedding's in two weeks," Luke said.

"I know," Reid said and he smiled slightly. "Can we do something else now, though? Like watch baseball or something?" Reid said, pulling away from Luke and turning around.

"Sure. But baseball wasn't exactly what I had in mind," Luke said slyly, grabbing Reid's hand.

Reid smirked and followed Luke to the bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later, Luke and Reid were lying in bed tangled up in sheets, Reid's arms wrapped around Luke whose head was resting on the doctor's chest, his eyes closed and a slight contented smile on his face. Reid, however, was staring at the ceiling pensively.

"Luke?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you wish that you were marrying Noah tomorrow?"

Luke opened his eyes, lifted his head off Reid's chest, and looked at him. "Why would you ask me something like that?"

"Do you?"

"No! Of course not!" Luke said, his voice an octave higher than normal in his indignation. "Seriously, why would you ask me that?"

"You always said he was the love of your life, so I assume that you always imagined yourself marrying him."

Luke sat up. "When was the last time I said that Noah was the love of my life?" Reid shrugged.

"Before we went to Dallas to face the medical board? Before I fell in love with you? Seriously, Reid, where is this coming from?" Luke asked, his brows furrowed.

"I found a notebook of yours," Reid answered, also sitting up. "It had Luke Mayer written all over it."

Luke laughed. "Did it have poems about being lonely in it?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because I haven't used that notebook in, like, three years. I was using that when Noah was married to Ameera. I haven't even seen it in months."

"Oh."

"Did you really think after all this time I still wanted to marry Noah?" Luke asked, moving closer to Reid.

"He was your first love," was Reid's response.

"I know that. But you also know what I know?"

"What?"

"That I love you. And that _you_ are the love of my life." Luke smiled.

"Yeah?" Luke nodded and shuffled even closer to Reid so that he could kiss him.

Just as Reid fell back on the pillows with Luke on top of him, Luke's phone buzzed. Luke groaned.

"Don't get it," Reid said, continuing to kiss Luke.

"It's probably my mom. I have to get it," Luke said, kissing Reid swiftly and then reaching over to the nightstand for his phone.

"Oh! It was my alarm. It's 11:30," Luke said.

"So?"

"So, I have to go," Luke said, untangling himself from the sheets.

"What? Why?"

"Because we're getting married tomorrow," Luke said, now out of bed and pulling on his jeans.

"What does that matter?" Reid asked.

"We can't see each other after midnight." Luke said, smiling at the appalled look on his lover's face.

"Really? We're doing the old-fashioned thing?"

"Yep." Luke smirked. "It's only one night," Luke said, pulling on his T-shirt.

"Where are you going?" Reid asked, getting out of bed and pulling on a pair of scrub bottoms.

"The farm."

"I'll miss you," Reid said sincerely, walking Luke to the door.

"I know. I'll miss you, too," Luke said, wrapping his arms around Reid's neck and kissing him. "I love you," he said when they had broken apart.

Reid smiled and said, "I love you, too."

Luke smiled and opened the door. "I'll see you tomorrow," Luke said.

Reid nodded and quickly kissed the younger man before he left the apartment.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Reid woke up in his bed, rolled over, and found that he was alone. Making a mental note that he never wanted to wake up without Luke again, Reid was nevertheless incredibly nervous about the day. He had never wanted to get married, but then the annoying, Richie Rich, Snyder boy blackmailed and kidnapped him. Now here he was waking up on the day he was getting married to that same annoying, Richie Rich, Snyder boy.

Smiling despite himself, Reid got out of bed and went to the kitchen to make himself breakfast – scrambled eggs and bacon. When he had finished eating and put the dirty dishes in the sink, Reid went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He had never realized how empty the apartment was without Luke.

Just as he was coming out of the bathroom the doorbell rang. When he opened the door, his best friend and ex-roommate was standing there smiling, dressed in blue dress she had once worn to the disaster of Alison Stewart and Casey Hughes's wedding.

"Hi!" she said very perkily.

"Hi, Katie. Where're Doogie and Jacob?" Reid said, stepping aside so she could enter the apartment.

"They're meeting me at the farm. Why aren't you dressed?" Katie demanded.

"I just woke up," Reid said, shutting the door.

"You're getting married in two hours. You should be heading to the farm!" Katie said.

"Why do I have to get ready now and sit at the farm for two hours? Why can't I just hang out here for an hour and then go over?" Reid said, sitting down on the couch and turning the TV on.

"Because there's stuff to do before the wedding!" Katie said, grabbing the remote out of Reid's hand and shutting off the television, ignoring the digusted look on the doctor's face.

"Go get dressed now!" Katie said, grabbing his hand, pulling him off the couch, and pushing him towards his bedroom.

Ten minutes later, Reid walked back into room wearing a pair of jeans and his favorite maroon button-down shirt.

"You're not serious?" Katie asked, her eyes wide.

"What?"

"You cannot seriously be wearing jeans to your wedding?"

"I'm not. Luke had the tuxedos sent to the farm," Reid said, grabbing a jacket and his keys.

"Phew!" Katie said, relieved.

"Are we going or not?" Reid said, holding the door open for her. She nodded and left, Reid following and shutting the door behind him.

In twenty minutes Reid and Katie were parking in the driveway of the Snyder farm which they could see was decked out for the special occasion.

"I must be nuts to be doing this," Reid said staring at the decorations on the front of the house and not moving to get out of the car.

"Come on," Katie said, unbuckling his seatbelt for him, getting out of the car, and opening his door for him.

"Who am I kidding? I can't do this," Reid said, still resolutely sitting in the car.

"Yes you can," Katie said, taking his hand and pulling him out of the car.

Still horrified that he was getting married, Reid let Katie frog-march him inside the farmhouse where there were more lavish decorations which made him hate himself even more.

Just as the screen door slammed shut behind him, Reid and Katie were greeted with shouts.

"Reeeeid!" Ethan and Natalie came running towards him and nearly knocked him over in their excitement to hug him.

"Natalie, Ethan, come back here! You're not finished!" Lily said, walking into the kitchen holding a hairbrush and looked harried.

"Hello, Reid," she said, smiling. "Hello, Katie."

"Hi, Lily," Katie said, trying to pry Ethan off of Reid.

"Chris and Jacob aren't here yet," Lily said to Katie.

"It's okay," Katie responded, freeing Reid and nudging the kids back to their mother.

"Reid, you're tuxedo is waiting for you in the guest bedroom upstairs," Lily said sitting Ethan and Natalie down at the kitchen table so that she could resume brushing their hair.

"Thanks, Lily," Katie said; Reid simply stared at her. "He's a little nervous," Katie added, seeing the slightly worried look on the Lily's face.

"So is Luke," Lily said, understanding.

"Let's go, Reid," Katie said, again taking his hand and leading him upstairs.

With Katie in the lead, they passed Luke's room – the door was closed to prevent Reid from seeing him – and found the guest room where Reid's tuxedo lay neatly on the bed.

When he saw the penguin suit, Reid seemed to come out of his catatonic state and said, "I really, really am not meant to do this."

"Yes you are! Now put on the tux!" Katie ordered and left the room.

After what she deemed a sufficient amount of time for a brain surgeon to have been able to put on a suit, Katie knocked on the door.

"Reid? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," was the answer, quiet and hoarse.

When she opened the door, Katie found Reid sitting dejectedly in the armchair by the window, staring into space, his bowtie hanging undone around his neck.

"Oh, Reid, you've got really bad cold feet," Katie said, shutting the door.

"Marriage really is not my thing. I mean, really, what's the point? It's not like it makes the love any stronger. I'll love Luke just as much if we're not married than if we are," Reid said, looking at Katie, who had sat down on the bed, and running his hands through his hair.

"I'm absolutely certain that that's true," Katie said. "But you asked Luke to marry you for a reason. What was that reason?"

"I had been having dreams about our wedding," Reid said promptly.

"Okay. And you, Mr. Hotshot Brain Surgeon, know as well as I do, that those kinds of dreams have meanings. You were dreaming about marrying Luke because it's what your heart wanted. You may not like weddings, Reid, but a lot has changed about you since Luke. You've done things that the Dr. Oliver I first met wouldn't have done in a million years. You quit your job because of Luke! If that's not a testament to how much you love him, I don't know what is," Katie said, smiling.

"Exactly!" Reid affirmed, his voice higher and louder than was necessary. "So why do I have to prove it again? Like this?"

"Because you want to," Katie said, getting off the bed, bending over Reid, and tying his bowtie.

Reid stared at her as though he didn't believe her.

"Can you do something for me?" Katie said, taking Reid's hands in hers and sitting back down on the bed.

"What?"

"Close your eyes." Reid continued to stare. "Please. Just humor me." Reid closed his eyes. "Great. Now I want you to clear your head of all thoughts. Just wipe it clean."

"That's not possible. The mind isn't a blank slate. It can't just be erased –" Reid started to say in his most neurologist voice.

"Reid! Just try! Pretend you know no neuroscience, that you know nothing. Almost as if you have amnesia. No thoughts whatsoever. Are you doing it?"

Reid nodded.

"Good. Now I want you to feel. Feel what your heart is telling you to do. What does it want?"

"Luke," Reid said immediately, his eyes still closed. "Forever."

"And what better way to show him that then by standing up in front of his family and marrying him?" Katie said, grinning.

Reid opened his eyes and looked at his friend.

"I still don't think I can do this."

"Then don't think," Katie said. "Sometimes it's about what you feel."


	4. Chapter 4

An hour later – an incredibly long hour which felt to Reid like three days – all of the Snyder and Hughes families, along with family friends like John Dixon, Barbara Ryan, and Henry Coleman (who was there primarily to see if Doctor Oliver would make a fool of himself), were seated comfortably in rows of chairs that were laid out in front of the Snyder pond; Luke's parents, sisters, brothers, and grandmothers were in the front row with Katie, Chris Hughes, and Jacob. It was a gorgeous end of summer's day and there was no sign of rain. It was the most perfect weather for the wedding.

Luke stood at the altar smiling, but there was an anxiousness in his eyes. The wedding was supposed to start and Reid was nowhere to be seen. Lily and Holden saw that their son was distressed, as did Katie who got up and walked back up to the house. When she opened the door, she found Reid sitting at the kitchen table, stuffing his face with one of his disgustingly huge sandwiches and a bag of potato chips.

"Reid Oliver, what on earth are you doing?" Katie said, the door slamming behind her.

"Eating," Reid said, through a mouthful of bread.

"You're supposed to be outside getting married to Luke. I thought we had handled this," she said, sitting down at the table.

"We had. I was hungry," Reid said, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Reid!" Katie said, glaring at him. "You're using food as an excuse to avoid this. Put the sandwich down now!"

"I'm in the middle of eating it," Reid said indignantly, as the screen door slammed shut. Katie looked over the top of Reid's head and saw Luke standing in the doorway.

"I'll leave you alone," Katie said standing up, as Reid looked around, confused.

"Thanks, Katie," Luke said, walking over to the table, Reid just finishing his sandwich.

"Hi," Reid said.

"Hi," Luke responded, sitting down and looking at Reid.

"I was hungry," Reid said, awkwardly and uncomfortably.

"Of course you were," Luke said blandly, no trace of sarcasm or humor about the situation. Then suddenly, "Do you have cold feet, Reid? Because you're making me really nervous."

"I'm sorry, Luke. This marriage stuff isn't for me," Reid said, not looking his lover in the eyes.

"What are you saying?" Luke asked desperately. "You don't want to marry me?"

"I do," Reid said, taking Luke's hand.

"Then what's the problem?" Luke was close to tears now.

"My brain won't let me," Reid said, knowing how childish it sounded.

"But what does your heart say," Luke asked quietly.

"I love you, Luke. Please don't doubt that. I will love you forever. And I want you with me forever. But weddings. You know I don't like them."

"This wasn't my idea, Reid. You asked me," Luke said, angry now.

"I know. That was a mis–"

"A mistake? Please don't tell me it was mistake, Reid. You planned it all so beautifully," Luke said, close to tears again.

"I know. The sappy vow, declaring love in front of everyone, it's not my thing," Reid said.

"Is this about last night?" Luke asked.

"Last night?"

"When you asked me if I wished I was marrying Noah?"

Reid opened his mouth but shut it without speaking. "No," he finally said, slowly enough that he couldn't convince Luke.

"It is," Luke insisted. "You don't want to marry me because you're afraid that sometime in the future I'm going to leave you. Or that you're going to lose me. You think that if we don't get married that the pain will be less."

Reid hated that Luke knew him so well. When Reid didn't answer him, Luke added, "Do you really think that I don't feel the same way? I'm terrified that you're going to leave me or that something will happen to you. It haunts me every day."

"It does?"

"Yes, of course! I love you with every fiber of my being. The thought of losing you makes my blood run cold. But doesn't that mean we should get married all the more?" Luke said, moving his chair closer to Reid and brushing his hand against the doctor's cheek. "I promise you that whatever pain comes our way won't hurt anymore if we're married than if we're not. In fact," Luke said, moving even closer, "it might even hurt less because we'll be dealing with it together. Don't you want that as much as I do?"

"You know I do," Reid said, brushing his own hand across Luke's cheek.

"Then let's get married," Luke said, standing up, pulling Reid with him.

"One thing first," Reid said.

"What?" Luke asked and was answered by Reid's mouth capturing his own.

Five minutes later, the restless guests out by the pond all breathed easier when they saw Luke and Reid making their way quickly down the path, hand-in-hand. Together, they rushed down the aisle and took their places in front of the priest.

"Hi. Sorry," Luke said to the priest, a little breathlessly. "We're good now."

"Are you sure?" the priest asked.

"Yes," Reid answered and squeezed Luke's hand in assurance.

"Alright, then. Ladies and gentleman," the Father said, addressing the crowd. "If you will all please resume your seats, we're ready to start." The crowd settled down. "Welcome. It is my honor to preside over this historic wedding," Father Jones said. "Luke, Reid, as you set out on your journey into marriage, remember that love is a precious and beautiful thing. Cherish and honor it. And now, your vows."

Luke and Reid turned to face each other.

"Reid, I spent two and a half years in love with someone who most of the time didn't seem to love or even appreciate me. Nevertheless, I did everything I could to try and make him happy, no matter how many times things went wrong and he pushed me away. Even when I went against my better judgment and blackmailed you into coming here so that he wouldn't have to be blind for the rest of his life, my love still wasn't good enough for him.

"At my own doing, you stormed into my life. You were rude and sarcastic and mean. I'm not going to lie. I couldn't stand you. But I gradually came to see that under that hard shell there was a person just like me. A kind, caring heart that just didn't know how to go about getting close to anyone. But when you let yourself get to know me and I got to know you, you brought to my life something I hadn't had before – appreciation. You saw me for who I was and you liked me for it. You never once tried to make me something I wasn't, I'm not. With you, I was never questioning how you felt about me. I just knew because you were so blunt and open about it. And that was wonderful.

"You are constantly challenging me and making me a better man. You don't put up with any of my crap, but you don't walk away from it either. Together, we find a way to work through it and I know that we always will. And for that, I love you, Reid, with my whole heart and soul, and I am so happy and honored to be standing up here with you today," Luke said, smiling

"Luke, it's no secret that when you first dragged me here I wasn't the nicest person to you. And I think it's safe to say that you annoyed the hell out of me whenever you were around. You got under my skin immediately, from the second or third time I laid eyes on you. I tried endlessly to stay away, but I never could manage it. You always seemed to be around. No matter how rude or mean to you I was, you were nice to me anyway. I never could quite figure out why. I guess that's what got me about you. Your heart. Having shut off mine from the world for so long, to come into contact with someone who was so open with theirs was truly fascinating. You've helped me so much to understand that there is so much more to live for than just a job. Never in a million years would I have believed that until I met you. You truly opened up a new world to me. I love you more than I have ever loved anything. I could never love anyone or anything as much as I love you. You are my entire world, Luke, and I am so happy to be standing here today with you," Reid said, smiling a little sheepishly, embarrassed slightly by the scene that had occurred in the kitchen earlier.

"The rings, please," Father Jones said. At his cue, Ethan walked up to Luke and Reid with a pillow bearing two solid gold rings.

"Luke, with this ring, I pledge to eternally love and cherish you," Reid repeated after the Father and placed the ring on Luke's finger.

"Reid, with this ring, I pledge to eternally love and cherish you," Luke repeated after the Father and placed the ring on Reid's finger.

"It is my duty, honor, and pleasure to now pronounce you married," Father Jones said.

Luke and Reid flashed matching smiles and kissed like they had never kissed before as the church erupted in applause.


End file.
